I want it to be on a Sunday like yesterday— the weather has to be perfect. Special guests will include Jacob Zuma, Morgan Tsvangirai, Steve Hofmeyr, Tom Curren, John Irving, Julius Malema, Osama Bin Laden, Hillary and Bill Clinton, Hugh Masekela, Laura Marling, Ani Di Franco, Robert Plant, Helen Zille, Angus Buchan and many, many more. Once the marketing project is launched, Bono and Elton John will sponsor the event. There’ll be enough food for every living person on earth to have seconds. Black Label and Red Stripe are going to be on tap all night long. My back yard might be a bit small, so we’ll have to find a different venue. But those are the details that we can worry about later.
I’ll call it ‘Operation Yeeeha!’ The sole purpose of the braai will be to initiate global discussion and have the fattest jol ever executed. Monday morning might have to be declared an international public holiday, just so everyone has time to get home.
I tell you, we’ll fix everything during Operation Yeeeha. We’ll come up with a reasonable solution for all the world’s problems. Can you imagine Barack Obama, Morgan Tsvangirai and Nicolas Sarkozy chatting round the fire? No formal EU conference setting. No pretentious language barriers. If someone wants to know what the people of Zimbabwe, France or Korea have to say on a particular topic, they’ll just ask— everyone will be there, after all. Once everyone becomes friends, international relations will become a reality. Not a pompous discussion between the rich people who run each country.
We could resolve serious issues liker food crises, gender inequality, racial tension and THE MANY REASONS WAR IS SUCH A DUMB IDEA. And everyone will have a marvelous time while doing it.
Once the night rolls on, we’ll all take turns prank calling Robert Mugabe, one of the few people on earth not invited- Operation Yeeeha will be limited to red blooded human beings. “Err.. Mister President. Bob. Is your fridge running?” Jacob Zuma will say, stifling his laughter, and using Salman Rushdie’s cell-phone to avoid the call being traced back to him. “What do you mean ‘is my fridge running? Who is this! Guards!” Robert Mugabe will shout from his Queen sized bed in Borrowdale Brooke, Harare. His palace will be empty though, because even Robert Mugabe’s guards will be invited to Operation Yeeeha.
During the wee hours of the morning we’ll have the worlds largest Rock, Paper Scissors contest, to see who has to go to the petrol station for pies. Abdullahi YUSUF Ahmed and
The Dalia Lama will square off in a ‘best of three’ competition that sees the loser off to Sasol and Debonairs for the biggest order placed in history.
I believe in braais. They can unite people from all walks of life, religious backgrounds and classes. Throw in a game of rugby/ soccer/ tennis/ anything competitive on the TV and you’ve got yourself an afternoon anyone can enjoy. It’s somewhat barbaric— gathering around a fire to cook animal flesh and talk about stuff. But that shows you how something barbaric can be beautiful at the same time. Think about how much more productive EU conferences and leader summits would be if everyone went to someone’s house and had a braai.
Oh, the things I’ll do when I win the lottery…
There are fun looking conditions today. The swell is really small though... but the wind is not that strong (for PE) and it’s warm outside. It’s the perfect day for social surfing. I’m told St. Francis and J-bay are pretty much the same- small, but fun. Fence could be fun when the tide pulls in. The banks look a bit wonky, so we'll have to wait and see.
Has anyone noticed the dolphins of late? Since last week there’ve been dolphins cruising up and down the bay, feeding on something beyond the breakers.
Quiksilver have updated their website with a special feature on Kelly Slater. Check out http://surf.quiksilver.com/ks9/index.aspx for interviews, products and videos of the man with endless talent.
ISA World Games
The South African team got off to a solid start in Portugal. Matthew Moir (Longboarding), David Lee, Sacha Specker (both Mens bodyboarding) and Pamela Bowren (women’s bodyboarding) all won their opening heats during the first round of competition. The event carries on through the week and will be broadcasting live via http://www.wsg2008.com/ .
Oakley Pro Junior Global Challenge Champs
Shaun Joubert (Mossel Bay) and Nick Godfrey (St Francis Bay) won their round two heats at Oakley Pro Junior Global Challenge Champs (Bali). Competition is currently on hold, as event organizers are waiting for the waves to get better before resuming. Joubert went on to win his round three heat before competition was cut short. Nick Godfrey will take on Keito Matsuoka (Japan) when round 3 continues. The waiting period for competition lasts until the 17th of October, so they have a good time frame to hold a few days of competition in solid surf.
See http://www.oakleyprojunior.com/ for photos and news.
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