One that Ends Like An Episode of Jerry Springer

After a session at the Fence yesterday, a buddy of mine cracked open an ice cold can of coke. I don’t drink coke regularly and I’ll never buy it out of choice. But I was hellishing thirsty and needed a small sip. I tell you, it was the most blissful mouthful of liquid I’ve ever had. I had to have a can of my own. Straight away I high tailed it to Santo Antonio café, where I bought my first can of coke in years. After two sips reality kicked in. I was sorely disappointed. It was as bad tasting as I remember it ever being.

It only tasted good when it belonged to someone else and I’ve tried to trace the source of this phenomenon in adults— I think I’ve got it.

At a braai in 1988 with some of my parent’s friends, a kid brought his limited edition Castle of Gray Scull (from the children’s series He-Man and Maters of the Universe). It had all the bells and whistles— lights that flickered, a device that blew steam out the eyes and rooms almost big enough for a five year old to play in. His parents bought it in America a month earlier, and it was the only one of its kind in Port Elizabeth. I couldn’t believe my eyes—it was surely the greatest toy in existence.

As it turned out, this child didn’t even like He-Man that much. He was far more interested in someone else’s whistling yoyo. I saw a gap and moved in quickly. There were three figurines in the castle that I could use: 2 Goodies (He-man and Orko) and a Badie (Beast Man) to annihilate. I stayed in there for hours; after a while I made more characters, using twigs and leaves, furthering the pot line. I even skipped supper, opting to snack on songalolos and ants to maximize my time.

My heart broke when my parents said we were leaving; I knew it would be the last I saw of that amazing castle. But then I noticed all the kids were sad to leave. The one who brought the castle was gutted about parting ways with someone else’s yoyo. The kid who spent all night jamming on my push scooter felt nailed to the floor, now that he was walking again. A queer boy howled like a wolf when letting go of some girl’s Barbie dolls. It was so strange…
Everyone at this braai went home devastated over losing something that never belonged to them in the first place.

People are weird. When adults drive pimped out cars with fancy tires, lights and oversized engines, or spend heaps of cash on clothing, hairstyles and electric gadgets, are they trying to avoid feeling envious of anyone else. Are they still filling the empty void created after a metaphoric night in Gray Skull? Do we all just want that magical sip of someone else’s Coca-Cola to last forever?

I’m sorry if you feel cheated out of the last 4 minutes. I just needed something else to write about, because there are no waves today. When I tell you its flat and windy, I mean that very literally. I’ve seen bigger waves breaking on Lake Superior. It’s cross shore outside the bay, so that won’t be any good either. If you’re desperate to do something surf oriented, check out Jordy Smith’s section on the new movie ‘Stranger Than Fiction’— http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=sQ6tVSSCjjM. It is unbelievable.

In other surfing news, Royden Bryson won the third stop if the Nixon WTA, earning himself a limited edition Nixon timepiece for getting the longest barrel of the Billabong Pro (Spain). The Nixon WTA is novelty series that awards a custom, limited edition Nixon timepiece at four stops on the WCT. Royden is the first South African to win
one, so hats off to him.

Enjoy your Thursday afternoon. Remember that a stranger’s castle of gray skull as real in our heads and hearts as it is in that kid’s dusty garage. Remember someone else’s coca cola is just fizzy cool drink to them, and that ice cold water will quench your thirst for half the price.