The Ties that Bind Us

I made several promises to myself the other day. Not New Years Eve- type resolutions. I’m talking about serious, life changing stuff. Decisions that will have a positive affect on the way I feel—simple things that mean a lot. I wanted to start each day by making my bed, not just when grandparents are visiting. Surf when the waves are kak, and try to enjoy it. Pay my library fines. Take George and Maximus for walks on the beach more often. Be kind to Jehovah’s Witnesses and Christians. Grow veggies. Have drinks with the buggers a little less. That sort of thing. A pay it forward type of revolution.

That afternoon I took a drive that sent my progressive ideas to the cleaners. It wasn’t a long trip— like from Humewood to Kragga Kamma and back. It was just down the road, to the Spar centre for a DVD and some niknaks that caused me to loose it like Bulldog in a tutu. The source of my frustration: Traffic circles…

They’re pretty new to our part of the world. I had only seen pictures of them in the Learners Licence manual, until a few at the back of Summerstrand went up 2 years ago or so. I remember people talking about them like aliens had landed. There hadn’t been so much controversy in PE since ‘There’s Something About Mary’ was almost taken off the big screen.

Throughout the driving demographic spectrum, you’ll see panic, confusion and inner turmoil set in as cars approach one. No one can process the actual meaning of a Traffic circle. Everyone sees something else. Old folk see a cul-de-sac; they park in for a while and rethink their route, before reversing and turning round. People swear and shout, but the old dear behind the wheel normally sticks his/her head out and explains that the road is closed.

Taxi drivers see a road block or one of those red cones that you doge in drunken driving experiments; they just swerve on through, regardless of the waiting order. White people rarely challenge taxi drivers, because they assume they’ll be shot.

SUV drivers see a chance to show off their kiff bakkies, and ride over them. More accidents per capita are caused by enthusiastic meatheads than any other vehicle.

Nervous, middle aged parents see a dangerous intersection, where ‘all these blood crazy drivers are just somma going whenever!’— They hold up the traffic longer than anyone else. I could go on.

I got back from my trip to Spar spitting snakes. I was furious. What kind of baboonery possesses this city’s drivers? I asked myself while pouring a stiff drink at 2 PM.

Anowhow, it’s all fair and well to get upset with Eastern Cape drivers. Yesterday I was flung off my high horse by a farm buckie that passed me on Sir Lowry’s Pass.
I was driving about 70 Kays an hour, in the right hand lane, when this stuffed out old farm vehicle whizzed by in a cloud smoke from the exhaust. The driver looked miserable and irritated, and was probably muttering something about East Cape drivers being the worst on earth. His staff members on the back were h9olding on to the canopy, pretending to fly like super man and swim breaststroke. I thought it was a pretty funny scene, but also realised that I’m as kak a driver as anyone born and bred in the Oos Kaap. Lekker.

In surf related news, Donnie Paarman, the globe trotting, eccentric surfer from Cape Town has just released his autobiography. It’s called ‘Lunatic Surfer or Destiny’, and it chronicles his crazy life, from the hippie days of the 1960’s till now. He is one of the most iconic surfers to emerge from South Africa and his story will be a screaming read, no doubt. Lunatic Surfer or Destiny can be purchased via www.surfpix.co.za or at stores nation wide.

At the ISA World Games yesterday, Slummies surfer Devon Mattheys went down in the second round. That’s a sad blow to the team, as he’s a brilliant competitor. That’s the way contests go sometimes though. Ryan Payne (St Francis), Mat Kruger (Durbs) and Klee Strachen (CT and Durbs) are still in contention, and they’ll be competing in the repo round 3 today. For the live feed, news, heats sheets and photos, check out www.WSG2008.com.

I couldn’t tell you what the waves are doing in the bay today, because I’m in Cape Town for the week, but I checked the weather report and see that the wind is turning offshore this afternoon. I assume after the easterly wind this week Fence will have some swell and waves when the tide is full.