Bull Nonesense Revisited

A man with matted hair and a forehead piercing gave me a leaflet. His name badge said ‘Raphael’. He was jumping and spinning round, stopping people at random to ask if they’d heard about 2012. He said the world will end in four years. His leaflet explains everything. A major shift in the planet’s magnetic field will reverse earth’s polarity. This is terrible news for the human race. We’re all going to die.
Raphael was less than pleased with the news.

I went back to the shops later and found him weeping in an alleyway. He sniveled into the sleeve of his long coat. His upcoming novel about the extinction of Dodo’s will fall on deaf ears, now. ‘What does this twisted life mean!’’ bellowed Raphael.

I bought two cans of red stripe and took a seat beside him. ‘It’s ironic that you wrote about dodo’s as WE'RE ALL about to check out,’ I said to Raphael. I didn’t get an answer. Raphael shot his eyes at me and made a toilet face. He clawed the beer from my hand and screamed about the danger's of Jamaican beer. ‘That snake venom will end your life!’ yelled Raphael, ‘Believe me! Death is no good for people!’
‘I’ll take your word for it,’ I answered.
He stood up, lit a smoke and then wondered off to hand out more apocalypse leaflets. Strange cat, Raphael.

“Vot is thees bull nonsense? Vee vill all die enivay,’ said Lienka, my Polish housemate, when I told her the story that night. ‘Yoo are strange boy. Vy do yoo tok to the crazy man?’

I’m glad there are still unsolved mysteries. Stuff like yetis, UFO’s, ghosts, crazy people and god. Earth isn't half as exciting if you take them away. But if you think too hard about it, you'll miss the good stuff, like today's weather.