Going Bananas

Weird Dreams and Bad Eating

“Eating a banana before bed will give you awful nightmares!” My mom used to tell me when I was a youngster. I always believed her and made sure I didn’t, despite digging bananas above all the other fruit or snack products available at Spar or Pick ‘n Pay. But last night I found myself out of options.

I ate an early supper at 5:30Pm. A day’s surfing had flattened me. I thought I’d be asleep by 9pm at the latest. But 4 rented movies saw the hours pass without me knowing about it.

So no shops are open in St Francis after 8pm. At 11 PM, after Dream Catcher, my stomach demanded more. The popcorn was finished, the bread was stale and the marmite left in the cupboard had gone moldy. I was ready to salt up a plate of dog pellets, until I noticed the fruit bowl.

Like Cinderella staying on the dance floor for one more number at 11:57, I decided to push the envelope and break the golden rule. I munched 3 bananas and dropped like a stone down a well, into a night of crazy dreams that have stayed with me all day.

The weirdest of them went like this:

I was surfing at a popular spot in East London, Nahoon Reef. The locals out there didn’t appreciate a stranger on their turf. I sat at the backline nervously, fully aware that everyone was eyeballing me.
Finally the burly guy in charge paddled over and told me to get lost.
“But it cost me 400 bucks in petrol to get here, and I’m not making any trouble!” I protested.
Unconvinced, he summoned a pack of great white sharks to escort me back to shore. Before I knew what was happening, I was flanked by a group of the biggest sharks on earth. They were simply monstrous— as big as rugby fields and able to leap a hundred meters in the air. I was a goner for sure.

In the end I rode a massive female shark, named Eleanor, holding on to her dorsal fin like she was a tame dolphin. Terrifying stuff.

As it turns out, the local surfers at Nahoon Reef had signed a peace treaty with the shark race. In exchange for weekly shipments of celebrity tabloid magazines and human fast food (the popular stuff, like Mc Donald’s and KFC), they would police the surf spot. No blood would be shed and its popularity would be arrested.

Once I became aware of this, it didn’t seem so bad being forced to leave a surf spot for the good of peaceful relations. I can understand that kind of logic. Fair trade, if you will.

I woke up today in cold sweat, promising myself never to eat bananas before bed again.

Contest Update

France- The Quiksilver pro finished this week. Australian Adrian Buchan beat Kelly Slater in the final, which is a refreshing change— Slater’s won all but three events this year. Now, I like seeing Kelly win as much as the next guy (he was as much my hero in ’92 as he is today), but I have to admit to enjoying seeing someone else on the winner’s podium (even if it was an Ausie). Although Slater didn’t manage to take the world title at this event, he can do it in Spain next month if he places 9nth of better. With his current form, this seems pretty likely, but stranger things have happened than Kelly Slater dorking an important event.

Although no Saffas made it into the final rounds, Durban’s Jordy Smith did post one of the top 10 highest scores of the event. Yay. Check out www.aspworldtour.com for full tour news and ratings details.

Surf Report

It’s freezing and windy outside. But the cold front seems to be bringing in a bit of swell. When the wind backs off a bit, we could be looking at a decent weekend’s surfing. From this morning till now, there has already been a large increase in swell. For full swell and tidal info, call John Scheepers’ surf report: 082 234 66 22.